ALL ALONE UNIVERSE

Sifting through random drafts and bits of writing, I discover a story of long ago::

All Alone in the Universe

March 17, 1998

Pausing to read, I relive:

Silver rain rinses down out of a leaden sky.  It looks like my painting of Mont-Saint-Michel in the rain-fog of the Normandy coast as it rests on the wall here in my office....The paint has a grey and green look of Saint Patrick's Day in mid March.  I'm walking in the mist of ghosts of the past.

* Come he come say, ride on the night

Sun become day, day shall provide....

She dance for the sun...

Seek for the way, takin' me home....

She callin',

Bring home my name....

Wind in the plains

Dance once for me....

I pause.  The song Sooliamon recently came to my attention in the previous post, March Forward.  What at the odds?

Reading On:

The music brings up images and feelings of ages past as well as present and future time.  I feel a restless sadness wash over me as I sit at the window and wash the rain (notice I typed "wash" the rain instead of "watch" the rain.)  It's probably just the greyness of an Illinois winter washing away...

But it's more than that.  I stand all alone in the universe in Tai Chi class.  It's cool down, standing meditation after form practice.  We stand like marble, all of us lined up and relaxed (most of us appear to be relaxed).  We breathe deeply and naturally and raise our arms in front of us as if to hold a beach ball.  I slip easily into the "empty mind" framework.  I hear a couple of kids bouncing balls in the gym.  The noise fades...and I feel comfortably alone and warm.  I can feel the "nothingness" inside and outside of me.  If I had to put a color to it, it would be painted golden ochre.  I know there are friends on either side of me, yet at the same time, no one is there.  I feel just like my burnt sienna washed canvas called Invisible Planet, the Jupiter like planet is there, but barely.  The brush skimmed the canvas and swirled out a planet without meaning to create it.  The painting stands stark still and I'm not sure where (if anywhere) it is going. 

I check back into Earth again.  "Cool Down" exercises continue to settle and calm energy (qi) circulated during Tai Chi Yang Long Form Practice (88 pattern).  The calming works!  Without the exercises I feel scattered recklessness of a runaway horse.  I come back in tune with the world around me in the gym: the lights, the basketballs bouncing, the shriek of kids playing....

I think about cranes and clouds....I think back to a pastel painting of Chinese Junks....The ships with painted sails of orange and fire rose up out of the charcoal water like Chinese dragons attacking the tiger.  I thought about painting again, in its own time.

Shaking ourselves out of our individual daydreams, we put on winter sweaters, coats, hats and head out, vanishing into the windows of our separate lives....

Tai Chi class is coming around again soon, where I stand all alone in the universe. 

Key Words blog search Angel, Poetry, Mont-Saint-Michel, Creativity

Related Posts:

March Forward

Ghosts of Myself

Healing Hearts

Running Wild in the Universe

A Different Light, Painting Mont-Saint-Michel

Encounters with Michael, The Artist Meets the Archangel

A Firm Foundation

Building Blocks
Universe Shadows of Cranes

Resources:

Music
* Neil Diamond, singer-songwriter,  Sooliamon, African Triology, 3 parts

Irish Folk Songs, Readers' Digest Music, album many years ago

Tai Chi Meditation and Motion
Dr. Paul Lam, taichiforhealtinstitute.org  Programs for all levels, Tai Chi for Arthritis, Back Pain and more to help with specific conditions.  Tai Chi Music, seminars, youtube

Dr. Yang, Jwing-ming, YMAA.com  All levels of practice, Qigong, Tai Chi Martial Arts, Traditional Chinese music via Wind Records

Dahlis Roy: Visionary Artist, Author, and Tai Chi Instructor

Images:
Mont-Saint-Michele, oil painting detail by Dahlis

Stained Glass sparking butterflies, photo by Dahlis

Universe, Shadows of Cranes, oil painting by Dahlis owned by Dr. Paul Lam